Thomas' Death

Our sweet Thomas passed away at 7:29 pm on Wednesday, July 17, 2013.  



Thomas was having a hard time coming off ECMO, so they did a CT (which required 1 hour and 7 techs, doctors, and nurses) to see what his lungs looked like.  The study did give them a better idea about how to treat his lungs so that he could come off ECMO. 

Thomas came off of ECMO on July 11th (the third try) and we were really happy about his progress.  

Thomas did really well for the first few days off ECMO, but then he started to go downhill with his blood pressure and oxygenation due to his pulmonary hypertension.   

 The doctors did their best to save him, but he continued to have what the doctor called "death spells."  Thomas stopped acting like his usual self (active despite sedation) and his hands and feet got cold.  I was feeling really torn because I desperately wanted to see the kids who were counting down the days until they saw me, but I felt that Thomas needed me too.  Watching Thomas' prolonged suffering was really hard.  Each day I desperately wanted to hold him and take off all his tubes and wires, but I knew he needed them to keep him alive. 

On the morning of the 17th I prayed that if it was Thomas' time to leave us, that his suffering and our family separation would not be prolonged.  Shortly thereafter I received a page that Thomas was not doing well.

The doctor told me to call Jared and get him up here as soon as possible.  I was able to hold and sing to him for several hours while they kept him alive until Jared arrived.  He continued to go downhill despite everything the doctors and nurses could do.  At this point they felt that CPR and ECMO would be pointless, so we decided to let him die peacefully.  Jared was able to hold him, and the kids were able to say goodbye over video chat.  They cried and asked for mommy and daddy, of course.  

  Jared then gave him a final father's blessing, commending him for his valiance and releasing him to go back to Heavenly Father.   Almost immediately, his blood pressured dropped and his heart rate started slowing, so we turned off the monitors and they took out his breathing tube and unhooked all his lines.  His pain meds were turned off last, so he wasn't in any pain.  

We are especially grateful for the compassion the nurses showed as they helped us through the hours following Thomas' death.  They washed him and dressed him in the outfit he came to the hospital in, and then swaddled him in a blanket.  They took hand and foot prints for us too.  We know Thomas touched their hearts, and they mourned his passing with us.  

We will have a funeral/memorial service in Utah on Saturday, July 27th.  We plan to bury him by my Grandma in East Lawn cemetery.  We are touched that Jared's brother Bryan is making a casket, and Amy, who is married to Jared's brother Eric, is doing a flower arrangement for the casket.  We are planning a small open house with pictures of Thomas in our home for all our Tri-City friends in a few weeks.  We appreciate all the angels who have supported us through this difficult experience.  For those of you who have given us money to help out with medical and travel costs, we plan to use that money now for his burial.  We know that Thomas is in a happier place without pain, although we miss him terribly.

June 2013

The kids all wanted a turn snuggling Thomas before he came up for surgery.

Thomas with his sweet Maddy Moo.

Abby's turn.

Our four sweet little snuggle bugs.

We have a very loved little guy.

Thomas in his helmet.  We got it to help shape his head so it isn't so flat.

On June 4th Thomas was admitted into the hospital so he could start IV fluids and antibiotics before his surgery on the 5th.

Here I am enjoying some final Thomas loves.

Thomas right before he was rolled away for surgery.

A kind member from the ward up here watched the kids during Thomas' surgery.  His surgery took much longer than expected, so we picked them up and they had fun in the family lounge doing this puzzle while we all waited.

Jared and the kids stayed up in Seattle with me and Thomas for a few days, but it was getting too difficult for us all to stay up here in our hotel so Jared took the kids back home to Richland.

On their last day here we all had a picnic and played at the park.   The kids thought it was great fun and Nathan told me "Mom, I dreamed about this park!"

Thomas took about 5 days to get extubated and sent to the floor.

Unfortunately he continued to have a distended belly and lots of pain, so 2 weeks after his first surgery they decided to go in again to see what was the problem.   When they operated they found out that he had a leak where they stitched his pull through.  It had caused a huge infection and they had to put in a ileostomy on his right side. Thankfully my sister Sarah had come up with her 4 kids to help watch Abby, Maddy, and Nathan so Jared could come up to Seattle and be with us after this second surgery.

On the morning of the 16th Jared and I were both awakened to a room full of doctors.  Thomas' numbers were not looking good and they were trying to figure out what to do when suddenly Thomas coded.   They called Code Green (which is like code blue, but for a patient that is already in the ICU).  The RTs called for a back board and they started CPR right away.  After about 30 minutes of CPR Dr. McMullan (who had done Thomas' previous heart surgery) operated to put Thomas on ECMO (basically life support).  The doctors came to speak with us and told us that Thomas had a 40-50% chance of survival. Needless to say, this completely changed our plans for coming home soon, and after a few days of Thomas being stable on ECMO I went back to Richland to send the kids to Utah to stay with my parents.

I gave the kids each a gift before they left.  Maddy got two little kitties from the American Girl store.

Nathan was excited to get big boy legos.

Abigail got her own little puppy dog (also an American Girl item).

They made a cute sign for us with their magnetic letters.

Grandpa Donaldson flew up to Seattle to spend a week with me and Thomas.  He made sure the doctors were taking good care of Thomas and that I was well fed with lots of delicious sea food.  It was great to have him here to break up the monotony of the hospital.

Thomas opening his eyes on ECMO.  We are happy that Thomas seems to have been able to regain his brain function after his arrest.

Thomas sleeping with his ventilator tube.

Even with all his tubes and lines, Thomas likes to keep his legs kicking.

Jared still has to work, but he comes up every weekend he doesn't have to take call.  Thomas loves seeing his daddy.  When he felt Jared's scratchy face, he got excited and it took some work to calm him back down so he didn't move around too much.  Jared wrote a blog post about his experience with Thomas going on ECMO: changedforgood3x21.blogspot.com


Our sweet little Thomas is still on ECMO but continues to improve.  We know that this is a result of all of the faith and prayers in his behalf.  It is also a result of some amazing modern medical technology and the skill of a lot of wonderful doctors and nurses.  We are praying and hoping for a miracle so we can keep our sweet Thomas with us.

May 2013

SPRING TIME

The kids worked hard helping Jared get the garden ready for planting.  We are hoping for a good harvest.

Abby was really excited for field day, unfortunately we had very HOT weather (over 100).  Here she is pulling in a tug of war.

 

 I was happy that I was able to finish all of Abby's homeschool curriculum this year despite all of Thomas' hospitalizations.  We even finished with time to spare for a few fun projects.  Here is a poster she made about plants to display at Homelink's end of the year Student Showcase. 

MOTHER'S DAY

I had a nice Mother's day with Jared and the kids.  They helped Jared make a nice breakfast and made me lots of cute cards.  I am grateful for my wonderful mother, mother-in-law, and grandmothers who have taught me so much, and who are all such amazing examples to me.


JARED'S BIRTHDAY

We had a nice dinner of quinoa and black beans, and fresh pineapple for Jared's birthday.

Thirty-three and he still has most of his hair!

Jared with his four sweet kids.

Thomas gave Jared lots of sweet baby cuddles.


THOMAS GETTING STRONGER

We have been working on helping Thomas get stronger this month.  Here he is practicing sitting in his Bumbo seat.

He gets really worn out after his exercises.

Thomas' heart is finally strong enough that he can do tummy time.  

He has learned how to roll over and squirm in order to move around.  We have had a difficult time keeping him on his wedge.  I'll hear him crying and see that he has somehow broken out of his wedge and squirmed his way to the bottom of his crib.

BUILDING

Nathan loves to help Jared with his woodworking.  He was really excited when daddy got him his own big boy tape measure.

Here is the beautiful table and bench (both unfinished) that Jared built for one of his co-workers.

DADDY COMES HOME!

At the end of this month Jared went to DC for a week and was sorely missed by all of us.  He of course brought home gifts for all the kids.  Thomas got a cute little stuffed elephant.

 He thinks his elephant is very yummy!

Madeline got a puzzle of Monet's painting of the Japanese Footbridge from the National Gallery.

Nathan was very excited about the toy space Shuttle from the Air and Space Museum.  He told me, "This is exactly what I was hoping Daddy would get me!"

Abigail was excited to get a fancy bookmark from the Library of Congress with a quote from Thomas Jefferson, "I cannot live without books."