Our Little Princesses

Here's an update on the girls. Sorry it's so long, but I wanted to include all the cute things they have been doing lately. I figure the grandmas will read it and the rest of you can just look at the pictures.

Maddy

Madeline is still very sweet and cute, but she is starting to get into a mischievous stage, much more than Abby at this age. I think it is due to her older sister's example and the fact that Abby laughs and thinks it's funny when Maddy makes a mess or gets into trouble. Some of Maddy's favorite tricks are throwing food on the floor, pulling the blinds (which Jared fixed to make child proof), and climbing up to the bathroom sink and playing in the water. I started putting her in timeout, but unfortunately she thinks is a fun game. In fact one time I threatened her with time out for pulling the blinds, and she went and shut herself in the bathroom (one of her timeout spots) and started to pretend cry.

When she isn't being mischievous she is really sweet. She loves to give kisses and hugs. She is trying hard to learn her colors, although right now she only knows pink and purple and then calls all the other colors green. She calls glasses, princess crowns, necklaces, and glass slippers "shineys." She is learning new words and phrases everyday. Her new favorite is "hold me." She loves action songs and rhymes. She will give me her foot and say "piggy home" for me to do "this little piggy went to market," and then she insists that I do it on her other foot too. Her other favorite songs are "turtle" and "bubble." She loves her hair put into piggies (pigtails). She has also become very aware of when she has a poopy or a wet diaper and will come tell me. She loves to build things and see how things work. She acts shy, but really enjoys the extra attention from Uncle Stephen and Aunt Rachel.

Abby
Here is Abby trying on Uncle Stephen's size 13 shoes. With Maddy getting more mischievous I'm happy to say that Abby is starting to act more obedient and helpful. It's almost as if now that Maddy is getting negative attention, she is trying to get more positive attention. She will now tuck herself into bed with her stuffed animals at nap time, and she tries to help me with Maddy--which sometimes causes more problems--but is very sweet. When Maddy started trying to run away from me at the park she ran after her, grabbed her hand and told her, "It's not safe to run away from Mommy. You could get hurt."

Abigail definitely gets the enthusiasm award. She has started to become a little Miss Chatterbox. Everyday she asks me "what day is it today?" "What are we going to do today?" She is always hoping that it is a holiday or we are going to or having some sort of party with friends. She had a blast on the 4th of July and insisted that I blow up some balloons to celebrate. We went to a friend's house who has a little 5 year old girl. She had fun playing princess dress up, swimming in their pool, and watching fireworks from their back patio. When she saw the fireworks she started jumping up and down and singing "Happy Birthday to you!" at the top of her lungs. Abby has also started saying really long prayers, but we are happy that she is starting to think more about what she wants to pray about. Some of her prayers have included things like, "Please bless the new library that it won't break. Bless me to be a ballerina. Please bless all of us to be nice and share with our little tiger friend (in reference to her stuffed tiger)."

Abby loves to learn about new things. The other day Jared was teaching her some anatomy because she asked about the veins on his hand. He said, "Maybe you can be a PA someday like daddy." Abby responded in disgust, "But I don't want a stinky job. I want to be a ballerina!" Obviously she has heard Jared and me complain about his job one too many times.

With the new baby coming Abby is also excited and curious about baby Nathan. One day after drinking a large glass of milk she informed me that she was drinking lots of milk so that her "arm pits" could have lots of milk and she could "milk baby Nathan." She also told me that she wants a pink pumper so she can get milk for baby Nathan. I'm surprised that she remembers so much from when I nursed Maddy. I told her she would have to wait to nurse until she had her own baby. The other day she got a little pillow, put it under her dress and informed me that she is going to have baby Audrey pretty soon. I told her that she would have to wait to have a baby until after she got married in the temple. She then told me that when she gets bigger she is going to marry daddy in the temple. When I told her that she couldn't marry daddy because I was already married to him, she burst into tears and started crying inconsolably. I tried to explain to her that she would always be part of our family and that dad could be her daddy prince charming until she got older and found her own prince charming to marry. That still didn't make her happy. She finally calmed down when I promised her that when she turned 16, her daddy would take her on her first date and they could watch a movie and get ice cream. That made her feel better, although I think she will have a hard time waiting until she is 16, so maybe Jared will have to take her out sometime while I'm on bed rest.

Abby has tried to be very helpful while I've been on bed rest. She also loves having visitors and has taken to following her Aunt Rachel around everywhere and teasing her Uncle Stephen. She is going to be really heartbroken when they have to leave on Thursday.

Abby and Maddy love to sit on Uncle Stephen's back while he does push ups.

So fun!

Good-bye Aunt Rachel and Uncle Stephen. Thanks for all your help!

Meaningful Work

So lately Jared and I have been thinking a lot about work. Mostly due to Jared's current stressful work situation, which will hopefully improve when he switches over to neurosurgery in September. Work is a blessing and we are grateful that Jared has a job, especially in with this economy, but we have felt that there are some things lacking.

In the book Outliers, which we recently read together, it talked about three important things that are necessary to have meaningful work. I thought these would be interesting to consider how you might change your current work situation to find more meaning, or if you are an employer, how you can incorporate more of these elements to help your employees find more fulfillment in their jobs.

1. Clear relationship between work and reward
Unfortunately Jared currently sees no reward for his extra hours or effort. When he interviewed he was promised productivity bonuses, which he unfortunately hasn't gotten despite his working 60-80 hours a week. This is more due to the payer mix--uninsured, medicare and medicaid--than anything else, yet it is still frustrating since as a salaried employee the more he works, the less he gets paid. The nurses that work under him currently make about 40,ooo more a year than he does since they get paid hourly and extra for overtime and holidays. In addition to no financial reward he also gets no emotional rewards of praise or encouragement from the cantankerous and temperamental surgeons he works with.

As for me, it is sometimes hard as a mother to see the relationship between work and reward. There isn't a monthly paycheck so I need to look for my rewards in other places. Some "rewards" for that help me find fulfillment are:

1. When Abby or Maddy obey or behave well--especially in church or when playing with friends and neighbors.
2. Hugs, loves, and snuggles
3. When I see Abby sharing or applying a lesson we taught her in FHE
4. When Jared or someone else recognizes my efforts and praises me for them
5. When I see my children learn something new or master a new skill that I have tried hard to teach them
6. When I accomplish a personal goal such as breast feeding for a year, finishing a sewing project by a certain date, or staying within a strict budget for the month.

The hard weeks are usually weeks when Jared is gone a lot, and when the girls are really whiny, disobedient, and fussy.

2. The work has a degree of complexity Jared's current situation does fulfill this requirement for meaningful work. Of course there are a lot of the day to day rote tasks, but overall his work has enough variety and complexity to keep his mind busy and active.

As a mother, especially a new mother, there was some complexity in learning how to care for a new baby, but for the most part a lot of it is physical--nursing, getting up in the middle of the night, carrying car seats, etc. The trick is often to stay loving and patient despite the lack of sleep and the endless crying. Now that Abby and Maddy are a bit older the mothering part requires more complexity as I work hard to teach them and keep them happy and active. I have found more meaning in motherhood as I have started doing pre-school with the girls and have focused on teaching them specific skills. I also have felt fulfilment as I have tried to learn new skills (sewing, gardening, trying new recipes, etc.) and keep my mind active through reading new books, etc.

3. The work is autonomous
This is one of the most frustrating things for Jared in his current job. It is irritating to feel like you have no control over your schedule or decisions. Jared hopes to one day be at least a part-owner in his practice so that he can be more involved in decision making. Eventually Jared wants to follow in his dad's footsteps and own his own business because he feels that the autonomy it would give him would be worth the extra work and stress of owning your own business. I on the other hand like having health insurance and a regular paycheck that I can rely on, so we will see if we can find some sort of compromise.

As a mother I have a lot of autonomy--which in itself can be a challenge. Sometimes when Abby is really disobedient I would welcome some extra help or advice. I often get advice from family, other moms, and parenting books, yet this advice is often conflicting or doesn't necessarily work for my child like it does for someone else's. Most of all I find that I have to rely on the Lord through prayer and the Spirit to know how to deal with my children and their unique challenges.

Another element that Gladwell doesn't mention, but that I think is important in finding meaning in your work is having breaks (weekends, vacations, time off). I think that as much as you may love your job there is a lot to be said for being able to get away from it for a while and then coming back to it with a new perspective and enthusiasm. Sometimes you can get too much of a good thing. We haven't been able to do this yet (due to Jared's work schedule) but my sister has her husband give her Tuesday nights off when he takes the kids and she can do whatever she wants. Sometimes she goes shopping by herself, visits a friend, or reads a book. She feels it has helped her be a better mom if she feels she has some alone time once in a while.

What has been your experience with work? What jobs have you found the most fulfilling? What have you done to find more fulfillment in your work?