Thomas' Death

Our sweet Thomas passed away at 7:29 pm on Wednesday, July 17, 2013.  



Thomas was having a hard time coming off ECMO, so they did a CT (which required 1 hour and 7 techs, doctors, and nurses) to see what his lungs looked like.  The study did give them a better idea about how to treat his lungs so that he could come off ECMO. 

Thomas came off of ECMO on July 11th (the third try) and we were really happy about his progress.  

Thomas did really well for the first few days off ECMO, but then he started to go downhill with his blood pressure and oxygenation due to his pulmonary hypertension.   

 The doctors did their best to save him, but he continued to have what the doctor called "death spells."  Thomas stopped acting like his usual self (active despite sedation) and his hands and feet got cold.  I was feeling really torn because I desperately wanted to see the kids who were counting down the days until they saw me, but I felt that Thomas needed me too.  Watching Thomas' prolonged suffering was really hard.  Each day I desperately wanted to hold him and take off all his tubes and wires, but I knew he needed them to keep him alive. 

On the morning of the 17th I prayed that if it was Thomas' time to leave us, that his suffering and our family separation would not be prolonged.  Shortly thereafter I received a page that Thomas was not doing well.

The doctor told me to call Jared and get him up here as soon as possible.  I was able to hold and sing to him for several hours while they kept him alive until Jared arrived.  He continued to go downhill despite everything the doctors and nurses could do.  At this point they felt that CPR and ECMO would be pointless, so we decided to let him die peacefully.  Jared was able to hold him, and the kids were able to say goodbye over video chat.  They cried and asked for mommy and daddy, of course.  

  Jared then gave him a final father's blessing, commending him for his valiance and releasing him to go back to Heavenly Father.   Almost immediately, his blood pressured dropped and his heart rate started slowing, so we turned off the monitors and they took out his breathing tube and unhooked all his lines.  His pain meds were turned off last, so he wasn't in any pain.  

We are especially grateful for the compassion the nurses showed as they helped us through the hours following Thomas' death.  They washed him and dressed him in the outfit he came to the hospital in, and then swaddled him in a blanket.  They took hand and foot prints for us too.  We know Thomas touched their hearts, and they mourned his passing with us.  

We will have a funeral/memorial service in Utah on Saturday, July 27th.  We plan to bury him by my Grandma in East Lawn cemetery.  We are touched that Jared's brother Bryan is making a casket, and Amy, who is married to Jared's brother Eric, is doing a flower arrangement for the casket.  We are planning a small open house with pictures of Thomas in our home for all our Tri-City friends in a few weeks.  We appreciate all the angels who have supported us through this difficult experience.  For those of you who have given us money to help out with medical and travel costs, we plan to use that money now for his burial.  We know that Thomas is in a happier place without pain, although we miss him terribly.